Balancing Family Life & Live-In Care

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As the holiday season approaches, many families are faced with the challenge of balancing caregiving with their daily lives. For families supporting elderly or disabled loved ones, live-in care can be a wonderful solution to ensure they receive around-the-clock assistance while keeping family life intact. 

In this post, we’ll explore how integrating live-in care into family life can be both seamless and rewarding, how it impacts family dynamics and how it can create time for family celebrations during the holidays.

How can live-in care be integrated into family life?

Live-in care brings a professional carer into the home to provide 24/7 support, allowing your loved one to remain in familiar surroundings. While this offers many benefits, integrating live-in care into family life does require some thoughtful planning. Here are a few steps families can take to ensure a smooth transition:

1. Open Communication: Before a live-in carer moves in, it’s important for family members to discuss what this change will mean. Consider holding a family meeting to set expectations and address any concerns about privacy, space and responsibilities.

• Clear Roles and Boundaries: Each family member may have specific tasks or routines they prefer to handle themselves, such as cooking meals or running errands. Defining roles and setting boundaries early on helps everyone understand how they’ll collaborate with the carer, reducing potential friction.

• Build Trust Gradually: Introducing a new person into your home can be a big adjustment. A gradual approach to building trust can help everyone feel more comfortable. Consider introducing family members slowly whenever possible to allow your family to form a natural bond with them.

• Involve the Carer in Family Activities: Inviting the live-in carer to occasional family dinners or gatherings helps them feel integrated into the family unit, fostering a sense of harmonious living. This also helps your loved one feel that the carer is a part of their daily life rather than just a professional presence.

By focusing on these steps, families can make the process of integrating live-in care into family life smoother, creating an environment where everyone feels valued and supported.

Challenges of Balancing Family and Live-In Care

While live-in care offers many advantages, families may face certain challenges when balancing family life with a live-in carer in the home. Addressing these challenges proactively can make a significant difference.

Here are some of the common challenges and how families can overcome them:

1. Privacy Concerns: One of the most common challenges is privacy. Having an additional adult in the household can make family members feel like they have less personal space. Setting up a designated living area for the carer, separate from family common areas, can help maintain a balance between privacy and support.

• Adapting Family Routines: Live-in carers often follow schedules to meet the needs of the person they’re caring for, which may impact family routines. Families may need to adjust their routines slightly to accommodate these caregiving schedules, especially around meal times or social gatherings.

• Managing Family Dynamics: Introducing a new person into the family environment may temporarily shift family dynamics. Open conversations can help family members adjust to this change, especially when young children or teenagers are involved.

By recognising these challenges, families can create a plan to address them and establish a stable, collaborative environment that respects both the family’s needs and the carer’s role.

How Live-In Carers Impact Family Dynamics

Live-in carers inevitably impact family dynamics. Their role within the home affects relationships, routines and responsibilities – often in positive ways but sometimes it can be a challenge and require adjustment. This is absolutely normal, and for most families, it gets easier over time. 

The benefits often outweigh any potential early concerns. When a live-in carer assumes the daily responsibilities of caregiving, it can significantly alleviate the emotional and physical strain on family members. This shift allows families to focus on nurturing their relationships with their loved one instead of constantly being preoccupied with caregiving tasks. By reducing the burden, family members can experience greater peace of mind, which enhances their ability to be fully present and emotionally available.

Live-in carers bring a level of professional support that goes beyond what most family members can provide. As trained professionals, they are skilled in assessing and responding to various health needs, offering a reassuring layer of security for families. This expertise often elevates the standard of care, benefiting everyone involved and fostering a sense of overall well-being.

With the day-to-day caregiving tasks managed by a professional, family members have the freedom to enjoy quality time together. Freed from the constant demands of caregiving, families can focus on meaningful connections and shared moments with their loved one, making their time together more enjoyable and memorable.

Additionally, the presence of a live-in carer can create a more positive atmosphere within the household. Family members, no longer feeling solely responsible for caregiving, may experience increased happiness and relaxation. This uplifting environment benefits everyone in the home, including the loved one receiving care, as the supportive, relaxed atmosphere promotes a sense of warmth and comfort.

Live-in carers often bring emotional benefits as well. By joining the family in celebrating special occasions and bonding with the family member they care for, carers often bring a sense of warmth, stability and familiarity that adds value to the family dynamics.

Celebrating the Festival Season with the Help of Live-In Care

With the holiday season around the corner, live-in care offers families an incredible opportunity to enjoy the festivities without the usual caregiving stress. 

Here’s how having a live-in carer during Christmas, New Year and any other religious or cultural festivals can make the season more enjoyable:

1. Freeing Up Time for Celebration: Live-in carers manage daily care responsibilities, allowing family members to focus on holiday planning, shopping and decorating without added pressure. This extra time lets everyone fully embrace the holiday spirit without feeling stretched thin.

• Support During Family Gatherings: During family gatherings, the carer can assist with mobility support, dietary needs, or personal care, ensuring that the loved one receiving care can be comfortably involved in the celebration. Their assistance helps family members to relax, knowing their loved one’s needs are professionally met.

• Helping with Holiday Preparations: Carers can be a huge help during the holidays by aiding with food preparation, gift wrapping and other tasks that require an extra hand. This allows families to focus on spending time together rather than being pulled away by holiday chores.

• Ensuring Safety and Comfort: If your loved one has specific needs, such as medication schedules or health monitoring, the live-in carer’s presence can provide invaluable peace of mind during the excitement of the holidays. Families can rest assured that their loved one’s needs will be met while they participate in the holiday cheer.

With the support of a live-in carer, families can experience a more relaxed, meaningful holiday season; focusing on togetherness and joy rather than juggling care duties with festive obligations.

Final Thoughts

Integrating live-in care into family life can provide numerous benefits, from reducing the burden on family members to enhancing the quality of life for loved ones who require assistance. While challenges may arise, a proactive approach to communication, boundaries and family dynamics can create a balanced and positive home environment.

As the holiday season approaches, the gift of live-in care can be particularly meaningful. By easing the caregiving load, it enables families to focus on what truly matters: spending time together, making memories and celebrating the season without the usual stress of caregiving duties. With a live-in carer by your side, you and your family can enjoy a season filled with warmth, joy, and harmony.

For more information about how Eximius Live-In Care can support you and your loved ones needing additional support please call us on: 0203 794 9933

Or email: [email protected]

www.eximiussupport.uk

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Beloved Bucks bar owner’s emotional farewell

Liz Nicholls

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Liz Nicholls

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Praise, and funds, are flooding in for 38-year-old entrepreneur and mum of two Samantha Fraser, as The Library Bar in Aylesbury closes its doors so that she can spend precious time with her family

Sam opened The Library Bar, the first-of-its-kind LGBTQIA+ venue in Bucks in May last year.

The bar quickly became a cherished spaces for locals to gather, enjoy craft beers, cocktails, and tapas and celebrate individuality and inclusivity.

However, due to a prolonged and challenging battle with terminal cancer, Sam has made the heart-breaking decision to close the doors of her beloved business.

“It’s been a hell of a ride,” says Sam, “but we called last orders for good on Friday, 1st November: our Halloween party. This place has been more than just a bar. It’s been our home, our hideout, our little slice of heaven. We’ve laughed, cried, and probably puked here.

“To everyone who’s been part of this mad journey – you’re all amazing. You’ve made this place what it is.

“Anyone who’s spoken to me knows the love I have for this place, how much I wanted it, how much I’d dreamt of it, and how much I wanted to be the place everyone felt comfort, felt security, and where they wanted to go time and time again. I think I achieved that, for the time it was there anyway.”

Sam’s journey to open the bar is one of hard work and determination. After securing a business loan, she was able to bring her childhood dream to life, and her establishment quickly became a vibrant hub for all, warmly embraced by the local LGBTQIA+ community. The bar hosted weekly events, including open mic nights, quizzes, and live music performances, along with a popular monthly drag show presented by the House of Suxwell, an Aylesbury-based drag family. Sam also partnered closely with local Pride organisation to launch Aylesbury’s very first Pride event earlier this year, even hosting the official after-party at The Library Bar.

Tragically, just three weeks after the bar’s opening, Sam was diagnosed with spindle cell sarcoma, a rare cancer affecting bones and soft tissue. The initial tumour, located near her collarbone, was successfully removed through surgery, which left her arm 90% paralysed. Despite enduring radiotherapy and a succession of treatments, the cancer returned aggressively, spreading to her lungs, ultimately rendering her illness terminal. Recent attempts at chemotherapy and other treatments have been unsuccessful, prompting Sam to focus on spending precious time with her husband, Jamie, and their two children, George (9) and Lorelai (7).

Former Mayor of Aylesbury, Cllr Steven Lambert said: “I went to The Library Bar as one of my first engagement as Mayor and this truly was a real community space. Sam’s dream of creating a welcoming place where you could absolutely be authentically yourself was really important to her, and events I’ve seen over the last year, like Random Acts of Kindness Day have been integral in maintaining community spirit. One of the best things I ever did as Mayor was learning how to Morris Dance in her bar!

“Her vision was similar to that of a mayor in that it was about bringing community together and shining a light that people are attracted to and feel safe and welcomed towards. You would never walk into her bar as a stranger, even if you didn’t know anybody – somebody would stop and say hello and you would make friends very easily. For the LGBTQIA+ community that can be really hard to do at times and to be authentically you – and yet Sam succeeded, and her beautiful vision was brought to life. 

“The fact that the bar is now going to close is really very sad. But Sam’s legacy here will go on for many years from the friendships that were built, the encouragement and the growth that many young people have been gifted with – all because of Sam.” 

Since April, Sam has been unable to work at the bar, and operational costs have become unsustainable in her absence. Though she has actively sought a buyer to continue her vision, she has yet to secure a suitable candidate.  

In recognition of her resilience and dedication, Sam’s friends and family have launched a GoFundMe page to help support the family’s medical and travel expenses as she receives ongoing treatment in Liverpool. The fundraiser will provide essential support for her loved ones as they navigate this difficult period without income from the bar. 

If you wish to contribute to the family please visit their GoFundMe page.  

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Christmas at Camberley Theatre

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Experience a Magical Christmas with Snow White: A Fun-Filled Pantomime Adventure!

Get ready for a spellbinding pantomime like no other! This Christmas, Snow White takes the stage in an exciting new production full of laughter, magic and surprises. Join Snow White and her lively band of friends in a charming adventure packed with unforgettable songs, hilarious moments, and stunning scenery.

Special Performances:

• Relaxed Performance: Sunday 15th December, 2pm
• Integrated BSL Signed Performance: Sunday 22nd December, 2pm
• Captioned Performance (live subtitles of the show): Friday 27th December, 1pm

7th December, all tickets are £20

To book tickets and to find out more visit Camberley Theatre

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Zone out!

Liz Nicholls

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Summer beckons, so why not think how you can best enjoy your outside space, come rain or shine? We speaks to some Bucks specialists who can help you

Picture the scene… The Euros have kicked off and you’re relaxing with friends, a chilled drink in your hand, as the action unfolds on the big screen…

And all of this (delete the hypothetical footie and replace with Wimbledon, the Grand Prix or the Olympics as you wish) in your own back yard. It’s an enticing prospect isn’t it? Well it’s not beyond the realm of possibility, thanks to a lightbulb moment Bob Best had last summer.

While Bob, who runs Herts Pergolas, was with his team admiring their recent handiwork, he noticed that the flat, white surface would make a perfect screen so a projector could be fitted opposite. “Suddenly the penny dropped,” says Bob, who has years of experience across the home counties building conservatories before switching to pergolas in 2022. “I thought: this is the perfect way to make the most of the space, watching the Euros. That’s the dream, in your own garden! You could add a hot tub or whatever floats your boat as well.” 

It’s a popular trend to create outdoor zones to suit a particular purpose which can make a huge difference, even in smaller gardens, where two or three areas work well. Outdoor structures such as pergolas are a great way to define a space and are often easier to achieve than extensions because they usually don’t require planning permission. That’s why pergolas are a fashionable choice with Bob’s customers, taking gardens to the next level.

“The bulk of our team’s work is now pergolas, led by our customers, which is great,” says Bob who lives in Kings Langley. “Our pergolas are made of aluminium, have a polyester powder-coated finish and are available in white or grey, which looks really elegant. They come in three sizes, 3 x 3m, 3 x 4m and 8 x 4m. The roof is fully adjustable, and they come with a full-height blinds and LED lighting with optional remote-controlled heaters and USB sockets to charge phones or devices. What’s genius, too, is they have internal drainage so that inevitable rain drains on to your patio area. It’s the way forward!” Visit hertspergolas.co.uk

Garden rooms have increasingly become an extension of your home and not just for those who work from home. If you’ve been coveting a beautiful hand-crafted bespoke oak building in your garden or adjoining your home, you’re not the only one! The Artisan Oak team work with clients across Bucks to help you design your dream bespoke space. The company, based just outside Stoke Bruerne, believe oak to be one of the most beautiful materials to use, with raw textures and uncompromisable strength. They also offer a landscaping service and incorporate materials such as glass, stone, brick and other wood, working along side sub-contractors for a hassle-free project. Visit artisan-oak.com

Seating is also a must, anything from a cute stylish bistro set for a smaller space to a full on comfy garden sofa next to a fire pit.

But, before you start planning your garden layout, you might come across an unsightly stump blocking your way. This is where the Wycombe-based Simply Stumps team step in. Led by owner Scott Howfield, a fully qualified arborist with 25 years of experience and a vast array of five-star reviews, they offer a convenient Whatsapp or online quote system at simplystumps.co.uk/free-quote/. Scott emphasises the challenge of removing tree stumps due to their extensive root systems, making digging them out nearly impossible. Instead, he recommends stump grinding, which produces fine woodchips that are easy to move and make excellent mulch for the garden. It’s a clean and efficient solution that avoids the hassle of dealing with a leftover stump. Scott also highlights the risk of honey fungus, which can use old stumps as a food source to attack living trees. As he aptly puts it, “it’s most definitely a case of better out than in!”

One thing that’s bound to be a godsend in this country is some sort of shade or cover. The experienced team at Verdec will help you create a fantastic outdoor area with bespoke timber garden structures and buildings, such as summerhouses, offices, adventure playgrounds, decking, hard landscaping and patios. Find out more at verdecfencing.co.uk

If you’re looking for high-quality long-lasting outdoor furniture covers or gazebo side panels check out family-run, UK-based Kover-it. The team manufacture all types of covers, including for sofa sets, BBQs, pool tables and gazebos. All are bespoke and manufactured to ensure the best fit. Visit kover-it.co.uk

Metal Gates Ltd are manufacturers, fabricators and installers of quality metal gates, railings, garage doors, balustrades and staircases. The family business has over 30 years’ experience in the metalwork industry, they can guarantee quality craftsmanship and a professional service from planning to installation. Contact them on  01628 621974 for a free no obligation quote. More at metalgatesltd.com

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The Runnymede is having a makeover…

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The Runnymede on Thames Hotel and Spa remains open, book your Summer stay at Runnymede and enjoy the outdoor pool and boats from the 5th May

Eagle-eyed locals & spa-lovers might have noticed that The Runnymede is being refurbished. With Warner Hotels now offering breaks from later on this year, we wanted to share a sneak peek of what’s to come in the autumn…

All 205 rooms will have a stylish new look with characterful artwork that reflects the history and natural beauty of the surrounding area. Fans of The Runnymede, which overlooks the Thames, will be pleased that the signature duck association will remain! There will also be 25 newly built rooms and those overlooking the river will have the added luxury of balconies.

There will be a choice of two restaurants – Market Kitchen and Brasserie32. Market Kitchen will replace Leftbank and will feature a deli bar, fresh fish counter and a roast of the day, carved to order. At the other side of the property, Brasserie32 will be located in the former Lock Bar & Kitchen with a menu filled with British classics. The property will also feature The Coffee Nest, an informal setting for sweet treats, tea and coffee, alongside further bars and lounges.

Those who would otherwise visit London for the theatre won’t be disappointed, as the hotel will host a diverse programme of entertainment in the new Live Lounge. From comedians to tribute acts and party bands, every stay promises an impressive line-up of unique shows.

The Runnymede remains the go-to place for R&A, with treatments to help put a spring in your step, including the highly recommended Salt & Polish Scrub: a thorough body exfoliation followed by an application of nourishing body oil to leave the skin smooth and free of dry skin.

Alongside plenty of entertainment, there will be ample time for R&R at the spa with pools, a sauna, steam room, state-of-art gym, studio room for yoga and other fitness classes, a relaxation lounge, and an extended wellness programme. This is in addition to a range of soothing treatments designed to nourish your mind, body, and soul. From May to September (weather permitting), guests will also have use of the outdoor pool with sun loungers.

There will also be activities to choose from including tennis, archery, laser pistol shooting, tasting experiences and cooking demos. During the summer months, there will also be boat hire available from the property’s private jetty. So much to look forward to!

Not forgetting the Runnymede’s complimentary shuttle service to and from Windsor!

Breaks are available to book online for autumn onwards. In the mean time the hotel will continue to operate as an independent property for stays, dining and spa treatments and days, though the team do advise that the hotel might not be looking its best while construction work is going on.

For spring and summer bookings book directly with The Runnymede; The Runnymede on Thames | Windsor Spa Hotel | Egham Hotel (runnymedehotel.com)

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The magic of Pratchett

Round & About

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Marc Burrows is bringing his celebration of Terry Pratchett to Norden Farm

Author, comedian and Terry Pratchett fan, Marc Burrows invites audiences to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the landmark comic fantasy Discworld series with his beautiful tribute.

In 2020, Marc penned the first ever biography of Sir Terry. The book received critical acclaim, won a Locus Award and was embraced by fans. This new, live multimedia show, based on the book, was then created with the full endorsement and support of Narrativia, the company founded to protect and promote the late author’s work in association with his estate.

The Magic of Terry Pratchett is a comic lecture in which Burrows explores Pratchett’s influences, his rise to fame, impact, and unique life, becoming one of the most beloved storytellers of all time. From the national treasure’s days as a school librarian, his time as a trainee journalist to his untimely death in 2015 and in keeping with Pratchett’s own style, the show is a gently comic celebration and exploration of his work. It will also seriously examine his death, and the activism he was involved with toward the end of his life surrounding dementia treatment and the right-to-die; an important part of his story and legacy.

In addition to using the framework of the The Magic of Terry Pratchett book, the show incorporates additional elements of Rob Wilkins’ official biography, Terry Pratchett: A Life in Footnotes, (A Sunday Times Bestseller) as well as licensed media.

Sir Terry Pratchett OBE is one of the world’s most widely read authors. Conventions dedicated to his work are held globally every year. His works have been translated into 40 different languages, sold 100 million copies and have been performed on stage on seven continents. John Lloyd was right when he said “of all of the dead authors in the world, Terry Pratchett is the most alive”. Pratchett’s short story The Abominable Snow Baby was adapted by Channel 4 as a Christmas Day animation in 2021. Sky released a feature film adaptation of his Carnegie Award winning book The Amazing Maurice in cinemas in 2022, and Good Omens, a TV series based on the book Pratchett wrote with Neil Gaiman, will have a second Amazon Prime season in the autumn.

Marc Burrows often writes on culture and social issues for The Guardian, New Statesman, Big Issue and Independent and his Edinburgh Fringe shows include The Ten Best Songs of All Time and Mind Your Head. Marc’s second book, The London Boys: David Bowie, Marc Bolan and the 60s Teenage Dream was published to considerable acclaim in 2022 and is in the early stages of adaptation into a feature-length documentary. Outside of writing and comedy, Marc plays in the cult punk band The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing, regularly performing at the Download, Glastonbury, Bestival and Latitude festivals and touring the UK and US.

The Magic of Terry Pratchett is at Norden Farm on 28th March.
Tickets are available here.

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Varvara Neiman Exhibition and Event

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Elgiva Theatre hosts an exhibition and a “meet the artist” event in March

A solo exhibition featuring local artist Varvara Neiman began at the Elgiva Theatre in Chesham on Saturday and will run until the 1st April.  Power Of Colour In Light is open to the public from 10.30 am – 3.00 pm daily, except Sundays. There is no cost to enter during these times.

Varvara obtained her MA in Fine Art at the Academy of Fine Arts in St Petersburg in 1996. Subsequently she worked in several local theatres specialising costume and set design.

Following a move to the UK in 1999 Varvara concentrated on her career as a professional artist, staging exhibitions in Suffolk, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and London. She now has a studio in Beaconsfield and is a member of both the Bucks Art Society and “HP9”, a group of local artists.

Varvara is also an art educator and teaches for artsmart School of Art and Buckinghamshire Adult Learning. She is currently teaching Life Drawing and her key subjects also include Portraiture, Water Colour, Oils and Acrylics.

At this solo exhibition Varvara is showing two of her favourite subjects, Portraiture and Landscape.

“I have always drawn people from a very early age and am passionate about creating a character either from life or from photos when undertaking commissions,” she says. “These can be celebratory surprises or simply commemorative. My favourite portrait artist is Rembrandt from whom I am always learning that a portrait of a person is all about their eyes which are a mirror of their soul.”

Varvara is very enthusiastic about painting en Plein Air and passionate about Cezanne’s famous quote: “Painting from nature is not copying the object; it is realizing one’s sensation…”

“For me whether it is a watercolour technique or painting in oils or acrylics it is about the power of light reflecting in a prism of a kaleidoscope of colours,” she says.

Varvara will also be showcasing her watercolour technique on Saturday 16th March when the is a chance to meet the artist at the Elgiva. The event starts at 1pm, and will explore Varvara’s artistic journey and inspiration and she will discuss her work in depth.

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Buy a butterfly to celebrate memories!

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BBOWT wildlife charity launches new commemorative display

To mark Valentine’s Day, a local wildlife charity has opened two new butterfly memory walls to celebrate special occasions, declare your love for nature – or your sweetheart!

The ‘Your Wild Memories’ displays have been installed by Berkshire, Buckinghamshire & Oxfordshire Wildlife Trust (BBOWT) at two of its visitor centres. They feature specially-designed butterfly plaques which can be personalised with messages to remember precious moments, people or wild times.

The butterflies are made of brushed stainless steel and fly above an eye-catching wildlife border. They have been put up at the Nature Discovery Centre near Thatcham and College Lake visitor centre near Tring.

Laura Pepper, BBOWT’s Head of Philanthropy, said: “If your Valentine sets your heart a-flutter or you’ve just got engaged or married, why not celebrate your love with a specially engraved butterfly? Or you might like to commemorate a special birthday, a retirement, a favourite family walk or perhaps remember a loved one.

“Butterflies hold all sorts of different meanings for people, as well as being beautiful to behold. Our new ‘Your Wild Memories’ wall is a lovely way to celebrate your special memories and help the vital work of BBOWT at the same time.”

The Your Wild Memories walls have got off to a flying start, with butterfly messages added by local MPs, writers and nature champions.

Estelle Bailey, BBOWT’s Chief Executive, wrote: This special place, with nature at its heart. Here for every community.

Laura Farris, MP for Newbury, left this message on her butterfly at the Nature Discovery Centre: Delighted to support the NDC, bringing the wild into the heart of Thatcham.

Buckingham MP Greg Smith’s butterfly at College Lake reads: Thank you BBOWT, our nature champions. Proud to support you and work with you.

Writer and butterfly lover Patrick Barkham left this beautiful message: Breathe in green, Breathe in blue, Soar soul! Thanks, nature.

Priced at £250 (inclusive of VAT), each butterfly can be engraved to order with the wording of your choice. Funds raised from the sale of the commemorative butterfly plaques will go towards BBOWT’s work creating more nature everywhere for everyone, to benefit wildlife, climate and people.

To order your personalised butterfly visit: www.bbowt.org.uk/support-us/your-wild-memories Order forms are also available from College Lake or the Nature Discovery Centre. For more information call 01865 775476 (Monday-Friday 9am to 5pm) and ask to speak to the Membership Team.

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Your Bucks (and hens!) wedding guide

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Weddings in 2024 & beyond are an opportunity to ‘rip up the rule book’ and surprise your guests. Luckily Buckinghamshire has plenty of experts to help you achieve your dream, green, local wedding

Congratulations! You’ve said yes and celebrated with family and friends and – depending on the date for your big day – you’ll either be into full-on preparations or just making a start, but where to begin? Here are just a few ideas taking into consideration some of the trends for 2024.

Sustainability is a key consideration for many modern brides and grooms. Did you know the average wedding produces 14.5 tons of carbon dioxide? And weddings can negatively affect the planet in lots more ways, which is why Bucks wedding and event planners Eleanor Berry and Lois Langford, founders of Flamingo + Fern help couples tie the knot without causing undue harm to the environment.

“Our single biggest tip would be to keep it as local as possible.”

“We’re seeing that people are increasingly interested in sustainability, not just in their everyday lives but also in major life events,” says Eleanor. “We believe this is going to be big trend for 2024 weddings and beyond. The wedding industry has a reputation for damaging the environment, and choosing sustainability can seem difficult or like you’ll have to compromise, but with a few simple changes, couples can still have the wedding of their dreams while reducing that negative impact. “Our single biggest tip would be to keep it as local as possible. Choose a venue close to most of your guests, pick suppliers near your venue, use seasonal, local produce and flowers and you’ll already have made a huge difference.”

For more simple, actionable tips on how to make your wedding more sustainable, you can check out their sustainable planning guide for free at flamingoandfern.co.uk 

Many couples will opt for biodegradable, recycled and upcycled decorations with “pre-loved” dresses becoming high on many brides’ lists from both an eco and cost point of view. Charity shops are a great source of beautiful bargains. Oxfam has a site dedicated to them at onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk/bridal

Hiring is growing in popularity, too. Searches for “wedding dress hire” have increased with specialist shops and sites such as Something Borrowed offering the opportunity to rent designer or vintage dresses. One of this year’s key dress trends is colour; brides in blush and dresses with floral motifs, blue hues and peach: Peach Fuzz is the Pantone colour for 2024.

Sisters Amy Ahern and Steph Miles opened White Lace and Butterflies fashion-forward boutique in Great Missenden in 2016. Since then they have been winning rave reviews from brides flocking from all over the world for the perfect frock. “We don’t do ordinary!” they say, in the pretty boutique inside a listed building, which has relaxed bridal rooms and super-spacious fitting rooms. “Your wedding is your chance to be bold and break the rules. We focus on contemporary and ‘out of the ordinary’ bridal style here in Buckinghamshire. You’ll find an unrivalled curation of world-renowned designers for the modern, fashion-savvy bride. Our collections are unique and anything but boring.” Take a look at whitelaceandbutterflies.co.uk

Since the pandemic pushed more couples into the open air, barns, vineyards and even industrial spaces remain popular for weddings. Many of these venues are also ideal for a more intimate celebration. Less formal catering and entertainment options continue to appeal for good reason, with charcuterie tables and local cheeses, dessert bars and live music, starring friends & family, making memorable highlights.

And, much to the relief of your guests, those formal, staged photography sessions of yore have made way for a more natural, storytelling approach. Photographer Chantelle Shepherd took the stunning cover picture in Chearsley and has won love from countless bride tribes for bringing out the best in her subjects, especially youngsters, having worked in childcare for 10 years. “I’m totally comfortable behind the camera,” she says… “however if it’s turned on me I don’t know what to do with myself! I feel awkward in front of the camera so I do my very best to make sure those who feel the same as me comfortable and relaxed.”
Visit chantelleshepherdphotography.co.uk

Justine Holliday, founder of West Wycombe’s Artisan Jewellery has more than 25 years’ experience and is loved for beautifully upcycling and remodelling pieces. She advises: “Give yourselves enough time to choose the perfect rings. Reserve space in your budget for your wedding band. Make sure it’s comfortable and it sits well with your engagement ring. You will hopefully be wearing this daily for the rest of your life, so you want it to stand the test of time, even when your tastes may have changed!” Please visit Artisan Jewellery

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Heart felt with author Teri Terry

Liz Nicholls

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Teri, whose psychological thriller The Patient will be published by Bookouture on 13th February, tells us about her local life & loves

Teri is no stranger to writing, having previously published 14 young adult novels. She was inspired to write The Patient after following the tragic news of the parents of a young boy who went to court to stop his life support being withdrawn.

This and other previous cases got her thinking about what life and death mean, both medically and legally, and how it might differ from how most lay people would view this…

“When I was a law student I was fascinated at the difference between ethics and a lay person’s gut reaction of what is right or wrong,” she says. “An action could be considered ethical even if many would consider it wrong; conversely, it could be unethical even if most might think it was right.”

Teri, who has worked as a scientist, a lawyer and an optician; managed her own business, worked for a charity and in schools and libraries, has been writing full-time for a dozen years, mostly thrillers for teens, starting with the Slated trilogy. She was born in France, going to school in Canada, and living in Australia before settling in south Bucks which has been home for almost 20 years and where she lives now with her husband and six-year-old cockapoo Scooby. “Bucks is very much home,” adds Teri. “We got engaged at the top of Coombe Hill… Then I slipped over in the mud. Scooby is much loved and full of life and mischief. Having her made such a huge difference to our lives during lockdown. Tommy the trainer is one of her very favourite people, now located at Pegasus Unique Pets in Whitchurch [pegasuspets.store].

“I love that we have easy access to canal and countryside walks here, but are still being able to get to London in under an hour: the best of both worlds! I love Black Goo in Tring and Thame is a favourite haunt. Also, The Bell in Aston Clinton and Rumseys in Wendover for getting together with other writers, eating chocolatey treats and having a good natter. I’m also very pleased there is a new independent bookshop in Tring, Our Bookshop.”

The Patient is a psychological thriller about a heart transplant recipient who becomes obsessed with her donor. You can order or pre-order before that date on Amazon.

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