How parents can support their children in sport without putting on the pressure

Experienced education and sport mentor Dennis J Smith shares his advice for parents on helping children enjoy sport, build confidence and resilience, and develop a healthy relationship with competition.

“It’s not the winning it’s the taking part that counts…” Many parents are delighted when their children become interested in sport. Whether it is football, tennis, swimming, athletics or rugby, sport can offer young people enormous benefits. It can improve health, build friendships, develop confidence and teach valuable life lessons about effort, teamwork and resilience.

However, many parents quietly admit that they are sometimes unsure how best to support their children in sport. They want their child to do well and enjoy the experience, but they are often uncertain where the balance lies between encouragement and pressure.

Having spent many years working as a Head of Physical Education and Housemaster, and coaching young people across a wide range of sports, I have seen how important the role of parents can be in shaping a child’s experience of sport.

The most successful young athletes are very rarely those under the greatest pressure. Instead, they are usually the young people who feel supported, encouraged and allowed to enjoy the game.

One of the most important things parents can do is to remember children play sport for enjoyment. When the emphasis remains on enjoyment, improvement and participation, young people tend to stay involved in sport for longer and develop a much healthier relationship with competition.

Parents can also help by focusing on effort rather than results. A child who learns to value effort, practice and perseverance gains skills that will benefit them in many areas of life.

Another helpful approach is to allow coaches to coach and parents to support. Coaches are trained to develop technique and performance, while parents play an equally important role in encouragement, reassurance and perspective.

Young athletes will also experience disappointments along the way. Matches may be lost, selections may not go their way, and progress can sometimes feel slow. At these moments the calm support of parents can make an enormous difference. Children who learn to cope with setbacks often develop resilience and confidence that stay with them for life.

Sport should be one of the most enjoyable parts of childhood. With the right encouragement and understanding from adults, it can become an experience that builds confidence, character and a lifelong love of physical activity.

Dennis J Smith, M.Ed., is a former Head of Physical Education and Housemaster with many years of experience supporting young people and families.

Get in touch with him at scholarlyachievement@gmail.com and visit sites.google.com/view/sportstudysuccessuk for more.

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