Robbie James looks at ‘going it alone’, don’t be afraid to do what you want just because you have no one to do it with, you may just enjoy it more…
I have some ludicrously brilliant people around me, and I love them an amount that I can’t be bothered to try and formulate into words here – but that doesn’t mean I don’t completely love the time I spend with… well, none of them.
Going to a restaurant, sport, or a gig on your own is daunting, especially when you’ve never done it before. People will be wondering why I’m the only person on my own, won’t they? Everyone will feel sorry for me. They’re gonna think I’m some sort of creep. Will they think I’ve been stood up? No. They won’t. They probably won’t notice, and if they do, they probably won’t care for more than seven seconds.
Pushing yourself to go and do that thing you want to do but have no one to go with is one challenge, the second is actually following through once the experience is in motion. Once you’ve looked at the menu or bought your tickets or have made your way into the waiting area, can you resist a scroll of Instagram?
Can you avoid resorting to taking a few minutes to leave a Google review for the Cineworld you went to last month, or replying to O2 about the fact your latest bill is available (even though in no uncertain terms it began with ‘DON’T REPLY’)? That phone is your ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card that can save you from not having to look up. It’s so hard! Break through the barrier once, and you’ll be grand the next time around.
I’m away filming and actually writing this in my notes while solely taking up a table of six (I was told to sit there, before the space efficiency police start) in Gloucester Quays’ Côte, waiting for my Mushroom Cassoulet. Wait, I’m on my phone. What a hypocritical meringue. I’ll continue later.
Ok I’m back, banging dinner. I’m a sucker for a Chestnut Mushroom. So as I was saying…
Cricket has always felt like a nice getaway to enjoying solo activity. A County Championship match can take four whole days. You run out of people who have their entire Wednesday to burn, and you can’t spend eight hours on your phone (I’ve tried), so I’ve watched plenty of cricket while thinking about… absolutely nothing.
Aside from cricket, my first proper solo trip was when I took myself to Paris a couple of years ago. I was sad and decided I wanted to spend some time with myself; so, naturally I went to a city with 2.1 million people within it. But that was kind of the point.
Everyone was doing something. All those around me in the wine bar were catching up with pals or talking business. I sat and let it all happen. I let my brain wander from one thought to the next, and thought about those things that you don’t have any time to pay attention to when you’re socialising.
I’d love for it to be more normal to do things on our own. Why is it you have to be above a certain age to have an overly priced flat white while watching the trials and tribulations of the high street?
You don’t have to banish any social life you’ve ever had – socialising is one of the great things of all the great things. Do though go to a gig even if no one is free, or just go and have a beer at the pub enjoying the one afternoon of winter sunshine we’re getting this month. Break through the awkwardness, and I promise you’ll enjoy it even more the second time around.
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