One simple question is changing conversations around men’s mental health – and one Aylesbury volunteer is helping men take that first difficult step.
“How are you?” It is one of the questions we ask every day. But for many men, the answer is often the same: “Fine.” “Not too bad.” “I’m alright.”
For Bucks teacher Steve, a volunteer captain for men’s mental health charity Talk Club, changing that conversation starts with adding three simple words: “Out of ten?”
“The number is personal to everyone,” Steve explains. “My eight might be somebody else’s five. But by giving ourselves a score, we stop and think about how we’re actually feeling in that moment.”
This simple idea lies at the heart of Talk Club, a men’s mental fitness and suicide prevention charity created after a group of friends lost someone close to them in 2014. They came together in the back room of a pub to talk, and from that moment a movement was born.
Today, Talk Club groups across the country provide a confidential, non-judgmental space where men can talk, listen and realise they are not alone.
Steve first became involved three years ago after looking for voluntary work. Already aware of Talk Club through one of its founders, he signed up to run the London Landmarks Half Marathon to raise money for the charity.
“Whilst I was there, someone planted the seed about becoming a captain,” he says. “It didn’t take very long for that to grow.”
Since then, Steve has run regular sessions in Aylesbury, including Talk & Listen meetings and Talk & Box sessions at Pegasus Gym, where men combine conversation with pad work and physical activity.
“It’s not punching each other!” Steve laughs. “But that burst of intense exercise can do wonders.”
Talk Club’s approach is proving powerful. On average, members leave a session with their scores rising by 15%. But Steve believes one of the greatest benefits is simply hearing other men’s stories.
“People realise they’re not the only one experiencing something difficult. There’s a huge comfort in knowing you’re not alone.”
The hardest step, he says, is often the first.
“For a lot of blokes, walking through the door is the biggest challenge. We’ve had people contact us and express interest but never quite make it inside. We understand how difficult that can be.”
The message from Steve is simple: there is no expectation to be vulnerable straight away – just come along and see what it’s about.
“We’re ordinary people,” he says. “The captains aren’t therapists or counsellors. We’re there to listen.”
Talk Club is always looking for more volunteer male captains to help bring sessions to communities across the country, while its free app allows anyone to check in with their own mental fitness.
Steve will also be at Live in the Park in Aylesbury on Saturday, 29th August, when visitors can meet him, find out more and learn how a simple question could start a life-changing conversation.
For more information, to find a local group or download the free app, visit talkclub.org.
You can also follow @talkclubaylesbury on Instagram or contact the team directly for more details.
