James Ewing tells us all about a great day out for all the family at Lion Green on Sunday 28th May
The very popular Haslemere Classic Car Show sees Lion Green full to bursting with an array of nearly 250 interesting pre-1980 vehicles and several thousand visitors enjoying themselves on the Green.
The show has become a ‘must’ on the classic car calendar – we were fully booked with entrants within a couple of weeks of launch and have an extensive waiting list for places. The day also appeals to the vintage, food and craft markets.
Some of our entrants go on a morning drive through the beautiful local countryside and then return to take part in the afternoon show. The display on the Green has everything from exotic sports cars, elegant pre-war tourers, everyday family classics to Americana and hot-rods, with entries from most of the major marques.
Many of the cars taking part will be ‘affordable’ classics but we always have a good selection of unique and special vehicles. There is limited space on Lion Green, so only vehicles that have pre-booked and are displaying a numbered pass will be able to park at the show ground.
We hold two great competitions on the day – car owners are encouraged to dress in period outfits to match their cars and enter the ‘Best Dressed Car and Crew’ award and we have a ‘People’s Choice’ where the public gets a chance to vote for the car they would most like to take home.
The show has something for everyone, even if you are not ‘in to’ cars. The Green will be edged with stalls selling quality produce, crafts, vintage, art and classic car related merchandise as part of a traditional Vintage Fete with jazz, teas, a bar and entertainment for all the family.
Public entrance to the show is free, we just ask visitors to support the event by buying a copy of our lucky programme. The day has become one of the best loved events in the local calendar and it’s great that we are able to provide free entertainment for the people of Haslemere and the surrounds while still raising money for the Haslemere Festival and helping to fund other events in the local community.
The show is organised by James Ewing, a Haslemere based classic car restorer and broker and is supported by many local business’ and individuals.
Please look at our new 2023 website HCCS Home (jamesewing.co.uk) for more information and to see pictures of previous years events.
Acclaimed national touring artist Mark Harrison brings up his unique music back to The Phoenix on May 20th with Charles Benfield
There is no one in music quite like Mark Harrison. He is widely considered one of the most original and interesting artists around.
His highly individual, all-original music has taken him to some of the top venues and festivals in the UK, attracting acclaim wherever he goes. Appearances on BBC Radio 2, as guest on Cerys Matthew’s show and on the Pick Of The Week show, have further added to his growing reputation.
Described at BBC Radio 2 as ‘quirky’ and an artist who ‘makes you think afresh’, Mark is a totally original songwriter, a stunning guitarist, and a master storyteller. Mark’s live shows are well-known not only for the music but also for his introductions and explanations of the songs, delivered in a manner often described as ‘wry’ and ‘dry’.
Mark’s songs cover all manner of non-standard subjects. With catchy tunes, lyrics that intrigue and engage, and striking rhythms, they make you smile, think and move. He takes elements of roots music, including folk and blues to create something new that is very much his own genre. Each song is a snapshot of life or has a story to tell.
A thrilling, rhythmic, finger-picker and slide player, with a very distinctive style, Mark tours extensively. He has released six albums which have been unanimously acclaimed across a wide range of areas of the music world, receiving a very great deal of airplay and highly enthusiastic reviews in the UK, Europe and the US, the latest being the double album The Road to Liberty.
Learn more about the wines of Rioja as Round and About’s wine columnist shares his thoughts on the best red and white Riojas on the UK market
Hello. A game I like to play sometimes is wine keywords – I’m too old for an Xbox, and I don’t drink enough port to be good at bridge. The aim of the game is to encapsulate a wine region’s history in as few words as possible and have people guess where you’re talking about. Trust me, this goes down a storm with men of a certain age with model railways and a subscription to Decanter!
So, Bordeaux could be, ‘British-owned. British invented. British drunk while Champagne could be ‘Monasteries. War. Billionaire brands.’ Which region, though, would be, ‘Bugs. Trains. A fascist’.
It is none other than the beloved region of Rioja, which is the subject of my latest ode to wine.
The Wines Of Rioja: A Very, Very Brief History
Wines have been produced in Rioja in northwest Spain for donkey’s years. The Romans introduced viniculture here, and the wines enjoyed an excellent local reputation. The wines came to international prominence in the 1850s when phylloxera – a root-chewing bug – devastated much of France’s vineyards, most notably in nearby Bordeaux. Bordeaux winemakers in need of work decamped to Rioja, bringing expertise in the use of oak, amongst other things, and helped take the wines to a whole new level.
Around this time, the railway finally reached the wine towns of Haro and Logrono. This meant that Rioja could be transported easily to the rest of Spain and the ports, which have them access to international markets.
Owing to the world wars and the Spanish Civil War, the region fell on hard times in the early part of the 20th century, and it was only with the rise to power of Franco that its fortunes were restored. Franco was mad about wine and wanted to see Rioja take its rightful place on the world stage. In one of his (extremely rare) good deads, he helped ensure that the wines were produced to high standards and became sought after again.
Rioja Today: New Classic Wines
Today, Rioja is rightly regarded as one of the great wine regions of the world. Its capacity for value is unrivalled, and there’s a surprising level of diversity in the nature and styles of wine, between the traditional and the modernist. In this article, I will offer you the benefit of my 30-odd-year obsession with this beautiful, complex, generous wine region, which I hope will whet your appetite for these extraordinary wines.
Let’s begin with the wine that started my love affair with Rioja, the Cune Crianza (Sainsbury’s £9). I first encountered this as Harrods’ Rioja when a Spanish colleague Carlos recommended it as a star staff buy. He wasn’t wrong. To this day, I can remember it. As someone who’d been brought up on Bordeaux and wines from the Midi and the Rhone, this was a revelation. A wine packed with exuberant red and blackberry fruit, spices, citrus peel, and creamy vanilla, it was as if I’d been drinking black and white wines, and this was my introduction to colour. I had the 2018 last night and found it just as diverting as I did all those years ago.
Next are two whites. White Rioja was, for the longest time, something that was best avoided. The Riojans’ idea that wood was good, so more wood is better, worked well (to an extent) with the reds, but for whites, it was often folly. A familiar tasting note for white Rioja in the 1990s was, ‘Smells of old chip fat, colour of old chip fat, tastes of… old chip fat.’ Happily, those days are gone, as these two contrasting corkers show.
The Muga Blanco (Majestic £12.99) is a modernist interpretation and is bottled summer. A blend of mainly Viura and Malvasia, the nose is bright, full of apple blossom, pears, and a hint of honey. In the mouth, it’s clean and delicate, yet the persistent fruit notes of pears, honeydew melon, apricots, and tangy gooseberries give it oomph.
By contrast, the Cune Barrel Fermented Rioja Blanco (Waitrose £10) is an altogether more rounded, richer, mellow, traditional iteration. This is one of my favourite white wines, and I must have had close to 30 different vintages. The consistency is remarkable, and it never fails to please. The latest vintage has the same ripe, soft mouthfeel and generosity of fruit I’ve come to expect, but this time out, there’s a nutty edge to buttery peach, apricot, and green apple fruit. A great wine for summer sipping.
I mentioned my adoration for the wines of Contino in my last column, and I make no apology for mentioning one again this time. This time, it’s the Contino Reserva 2017. You can often tell a lot about the quality of wine and the vintage by the wine’s classification. In Germany, higher levels of sugar are revered and in rare vintages, you get the mighty trockenberenausle, which has so much sugar in grapes that it can take months to ferment and end up with 6 or 7 degrees of alcohol. In Champagne, it’s if a wine is vintage or not, and in Rioja it’s about the level of oak ageing the wine can sustain. Categories such as Crianza, Reserva, and Gran Reserva all have pre-release ageing requirements in barrel and bottle, and as a crude rule of thumb, the more it can take, the better the wine is and the higher its designation.
The Contino Reserva 2017 (Noble Green £22) is an outstanding glass of wine. 2017 was a ‘challenging’ year – in the same way that nailing water to a wall with a hammer made of ice is challenging – yet by virtue of having a sublime vineyard and uncompromising winemakers with exceptional skill, they have turned out a sumptuous wine.
The nose in an inviting blend of smoked black fruit, tapenade, and cranberries. The voluptuous palate is medium-bodied, full of brambles, strawberries, hints of chocolate and raspberries, and a good helping mixed spice. As hard and angular as a bubble bath in a paddling pool, this won’t make seriously old bones, but it’s seriously good now.
Marqués de Cáceres is one of those Rioja brands – like Campo Viejo – that seemed to lose their way some years ago. For the longest time, their red, white, and rosé wines were a supermarket staple, and while they were OK for the money, that’s all they were. Today, they are back in a big way. Flagship wines like Gaudium are well worth their £40+ price tag. For rather more modest money, the Marqués de Cáceres Reserva (Majestic £12.99) is deep joy. This is the old-school Rioja. High extract with lots of dried blackcurrants, plums, warm spices, vanilla, and orange peel; this is perfect for red meats and hard Spanish cheeses.
Generally speaking I don’t tend to go for Gran Reserva wines. Rioja’s – unfair – reputation as wood aged in wine stems from this style. Eager to use the impressive designation, too many industrial producers have subjected wines that didn’t have the fruit of the extract to carry such a weight of oak, and the results weren’t great.
When done well, however, Gran Reserva Rioja can be glorious. Take the Beronia Gran Reserva 2015 (Majestic £21). Hailing from a great vintage, even after 28 months in cask, it remains deeply coloured, with a bramble, red cherry, and plum scented nose. In the mouth the fruity continues to take centre stage, with layer-upon-layer of black and red berries rounded off by creamy oak. Great now, this has a long future.
Roda may not be a winery you’re familiar with, but in the course of 30-odd year life, it’s taken Rioja by storm. Roda is the picture of modernity in a traditional region. They restrict the amount of oak, favour French (subtler, more expensive) over American, use cooler fermentation temperatures, and aim to bring a subtle expression of Rioja to life. The resulting wines are fascinating, combining traditional flavours with an arresting delicacy of approach. The Roda 1 2016 (Master of Malt £29.95) offers a great introduction to these beguiling wines.
Still with me? Good, only two to go, and what a pair…
Vina Real is another traditional wine, but there’s a delicacy and a flair to their wines that I’ve always loved. My latest encounter with this noble wine was the Vina Real 2016 Reserva (Tanners £21.50). This is a red berry and spices wine. The colour is paler than some thanks to four years in barrel, and buttery oak runs through it like Brighton through a stick of Brighton rock. It doesn’t overwhelm, however. Instead, it adds cream tones to the wide range of juicy berries, and gives a wine that was made for food.
And finally, a budget-busting classic, the Castillo Ygay Gran Reserva 2010 (Petersham Cellars £275). Now, £275 is an awful lot of money for a bottle of wine, but this is a rare beast. Only mad in exceptional years and aged for five years in oak and a further five in bottle – sometimes even longer – this a wonderful curio. Showing none of its age, it’s bright red and youthfully intense. Medium-bodied, mouth-filling, creamy and exotic, there’s everything from blackcurrants and cherries to Asian spices, coffees, dark marmalade, and charcoal. It’s a great Rioja experience, at a price.
Well, that’s it for now. All this talk of Rioja has given me a thirst the size of CVNE’s barrel hall.
Summer is on its way which means festivals season! Here’s our guide to the best festivals near & far and the chance to win tickets.
Are You Listening? Black Honey, Thomas Headon & dozens more will rock Reading in aid of Mencap on 6th May; areyoulistening.org.uk
The 44th international Newbury Spring Festival will also offer classical highlights aplenty, 6th-20th May; newburyspringfestival.org.uk
The Investec International Music Festival features world-class concerts including Tenebrae, Julian Bliss Quartet, Sitkovetsky Trio, Gary Hoffman & Wu Qian, walks and talks across the Surrey Hills, 2nd-13th May. Visit iimf.co.uk
“I’m so excited to be hosting Pub in the Park in Marlow,” Tom Kerridge tells us, “of course, we’ve got some incredible chef hosts topping the bill and I can’t wait for a weekend of good food and good vibes. Top-notch food is at the heart of what we’re all about and I know we’ll have the very best festival food around from our incredible restaurants… we can’t wait for you to try it!” The shindig, 18th to 21st May, also has a sizzling music line-up, too, including Sugababes, The Jacksons, Tinie Tempah, a Dick & Dom DJ set, Ministry Of Sound Disco and Bananarama. pubintheparkuk.com/marlow
“Probably the finest free music and beer festival in the world…” Rokefest will rock its new home The Chequers, at Berrick Salome, near Wallingford, 26th-28th May, with great bands & more, all for great causes; rokefest.com
Let’s Rock the Moor in Cookham, Bucks, on 21st May offers OMD, Roland Gift, Kim Wilde, Space, Soul II Soul & more; letsrockthemoor.com
Andy C, Annie Mac, Camelphat, Swedish House Mafia & dozens of other dance titans will star at Creamfields South in Chelmsford, 26th-28th May. Visit creamfieldssouth.com.
Want to win tickets to Creamfields South? Find out how at the bottom of the article.
Classical music fans will love the 16th English Music Festival at Dorchester Abbey, 26th -29th May; englishmusicfestival.org.uk
ShyneFest at Merrist Wood College in Worplesdon, on 3rd June, will star Republica, Rhythm of the 90s, The Replicants, Sarah Dearlove, Doubting Thomas, Ashes & you’ll find bucketloads of family-friendly fun such as escape room games & animal encounters, food, plus camping & glamping options. shynefest.uk
Cornwall is worth a visit anytime, especially 2nd to 4th June when Great Estate Festival near Redruth will dazzle with a stonking music line-up starring Primal Scream, The Selecter, Ibiza Symphonic with DJ Andy Joyce, A DJ set from Bez of Happy Mondays (watch this space for our interview next month), Cuban Brothers & more; greatestatefestival.co.uk
Wychwood Festival will rock Cheltenham Racecourse, 2nd-4th June, with Happy Mondays, Travis, Sam Ryder, comedy, a kids’ lit fest, headphone disco & idyllic camping beneath the Prestbury Hills; wychwoodfestival.com
Arrive thirsty for Twyford Beer Festival, raising money for male cancer charity Orchid, 9th & 10th June; twyfordbeerfest.co.uk
Hampton Court Palace Festival offers legends including Grace Jones, Kaiser Chiefs, Björn Again, Rick Astley, Soft Cell, Kool & The Gang and Tom Jones, 6th-17th June. With British Fine Foods picnics & bouji hospitality packages, this is a classy affair… hamptoncourtpalacefestival.com
KITE swoops back into Kirtlington, near Oxford, 9th-11th June, with Hop Chip, Dame Joan Collins, Suede, Candi Staton, David Holmes, Sir John Major & David Baddiel. kitefestival.co.uk
The Isle of Wight Festival, the iconic shindig just over the Solent will offer great vibes, starring Pulp, George Ezra, The Chemical Brothers, Robbie Williams, Blondie, Groove Armada & more, 15th-18th June. Visit isleofwightfestival.com
Blenheim Palace is the superb backdrop for the Nocturne Live performances from the likes of Lionel Richie, Gabrielle & Pete Tong (with his Ibiza Classics), 16th-19th June. Tunde Baiyewu who will perform on 16th tells us: “Blenheim is an amazing venue so I feel blessed. I’m a fan of Gregory Porter as well as Emeli Sandé who are performing on the same date as me so I’m going to be enjoying it as much as any other member of the audience.”nocturnelive.com
Scouting For Girls, The Feeling and Barrioke, (with EastEnders star Shaun Williamson) will make for a great Fi.Fest in Maidenhead on 8th July; visit fifest.co.uk
A$AP Rocky & Tyler, the Creator will star at Wireless Crystal Palace, 1st to 3rd July and Cardi B & Nicki Minaj at Finsbury Park (8th-10th July); wirelessfestival.co.uk. Hold on to your hats: Guns n’ Roses will star at BST Hyde Park on Friday, 30th June. And that’s not all: there’s Blackpink on 2nd July, P!nk on 25th June and Take That on 1st July. Visit bst-hydepark.com
Rag’n’Bone Man, Westlife, Nile Rodgers & CHIC, Ministry of Sound Classical, the Kanneh-Mason Trio and Jack Dee, as well as an Aretha Franklin celebration will make for another great riverside reverie at Henley Festival, 6th-10th July; henley-festival.co.uk
Sugababes, Nile Rodgers & Chic, Fat Freddy’s Drop, Peter Hook & The Light, Incognito, Gentleman’s Dub Club, Soft Cell and more will star at Rochester Castle in Kent, 6th-9th July. Marc Almost tells us: “Doing festivals is always so great. There is such a feeling of ‘out for a great time’ and people really are so up for it and generous. This summer, I’m excited about seeing OMD who are always special, and I love Glen Gregory and Heaven 17. For tickets & more info please visit rochestercastleconcerts.com
The fourth Camberley Comedy Festival will take place on Saturday, 8th July, starring Phil Wang & more, in a mini big top tent; camberleytheatre.co.uk. And Haslemere Fringe Festival promises another community culturefest; haslemerefringe.co.uk
Jack Savoretti, The Human League, Haçienda Classical, and Jools Holland & His Rhythm & Blues Orchestra will star at Kew The Music at Kew Gardens, 13th-16th July; kewthemusic.org
Jungle Brothers, Professor Green, Sleeper, Roni Size & many more will dazzle at Readipop in Caversham, 14th-16th July. Established in 1998, the highlight helps vulnerable young people and older folk, plus aspiring artists; readipop.co.uk
Hot Chip, Gaz Coombes, Erol Alkan (disco set) Fabio & Grooverider Kaleidoscope at Alexandra Palace on Saturday, 15th July, kaleidoscope-festival.com
Royal Blood, The Vaccines, alt-J, Shy FX & David Rodigan are among the delights Truck is packing, 21st-23rd July in Steventon; truckfestival.com
Our fave bash (and that of our cover star Noel) PennFest is back in Bucks with another bobby dazzler on 21st & 22nd July. As well as Mr G’s High Flying Birds, Johnny Marr will star, along with Gaz Coombes, Bad Manners, Kenny Kenn, Corinne Bailey Rae, DJ Fresh & Jumping Jack Frost. Organisers Nick Billinghurst & Matt Smith said: “We’re so excited about this year’s PennFest. With two such incredible, world-renowned headliners we feel it’s our strongest ever. It’s going to be epic!” pennfest.co.uk
Want to win tickets to PennFest? Find out how at the bottom of the article.
Richard Ashcroft, plus Ocean Colour Scene & The Sherlocks, will star at Englefield House in Berkshire on Saturday, 22nd July. Promoter Giles Cooper tells us: “We’re so excited to be promoting this show with Richard for Heritage Live. I remember seeing The Verve’s first London gig at the King’s Head in 1991, when I worked at NME, with just ten people in the audience. It culminated with Miles Leonard agreeing to sign them by the end of the night!” Hozier will star with Far From Saints on 23rd. Pre-register for tickets at arep.co/p/richard-ashcroft
Fairport Convention will star at the Fleur De Lys in East Hagbourne on 23rd July ahead of FleurFest, the community institution, 28th-30th July, along with Scott Doonican, Gregg Cave & more; thefleurdelyspub.co.uk
Building bridges, not walls’ is the motto of the inclusive WOMAD, the World of Music, Arts and Dance Music festival, returns to delight Charlton Park near Marlborough, 27th-30th July. womad.co.uk
Wilderness, at Oxfordshire’s Cornbury Park, 3rd-6th August, offers The Chemical Brothers, Christine & The Queens, Fatboy Slim, feasting with Adam Handling & Olia Hercules, mindblowing boutique camping options, theatre & more; visit wildernessfestival.com
Fancy a trip to the past, maybe with a hair do to match? Enjoy vintage steam at Retrofestival in Newbury, 11th-13th August; retrofestival.co.uk
Stowaway near Buckingham will stimulate all the senses, starring David Rodigan, Irvine Welsh, Little Dragon, with feasting, revelry & more, 18th-20th August; stowawayfestival.co.uk
Retro fave Rewind South in Henley 18th-20st August will star Soft cell, The Boomtown Rats, and many more; south.rewindfestival.com
It’s time to go deeper! Chapter Two: The Twin Trail is the theme of the fabulous Boomtown. The team are building the Main City for a revitalised living theatre festival on the theme of The Gathering, 9th-13th August in Hampshire’s Matterley Estate, boomtownfair.co.uk
Jools Holland will also headline at Weyfest, the boutique festival at Tilford’s Rural Life Museum, 18th-20th August. weyfest.co.uk
Wondrous Towersey Festival will bring you comedy, music & fun, 25th-28th August at Claydon Estate near Buckingham. The line-up includes The Proclaimers, Frank Turner & The Divine Comedy; towerseyfestival.com
Reading (& Leeds) is back to rock the August bank holiday weekend, 25th-27th August. Sam Fender, FOALS, Loyle Carner, Billie Eilish & The Killers are on the line-up; readingfestival.com
Big Feastival on Alex James’ Cotswolds farm will serve family fun, food and frolics, 25th-27th August. Perennial favourite Justin Fletcher will delight along with Sigrid, Rick Astley, Blossoms, Melanie C & a DJ set from Hot Chip. Food stars will sizzle, including Big Zuu, Ching He Huang MBE, Asma Khan & Nathan Outlaw. Alex says: “With even more fantastic acts to be announced in the coming weeks, this is shaping up to be our best line-up yet.” Check out the full menu at thebigfeastival.com
Want to win tickets to The Big Feastival? Find out how at the bottom of the article.
Love cars, love music? Then you’ll love CarFest, the family music & motoring festival founded by Chris Evans in 2011, at Laverstoke Park, 27th-29th August; carfest.org. Car-lovers will also enjoy The Billing Off Road Show, home to the most exciting off-road courses in the country; thebillingoffroadshow.co.uk
Wallingford’s BunkFest is in its 21st year. The free-access community festival returns with its winning brew of beer, music and dance, 1st-3rd September; bunkfest.co.uk
Curated by Dub Pistols frontman Barry Ashworth, in association with Tonic Music for Mental Health, Mucky Weekender at Vicarage Farm near Winchester, 8th & 9th September, stars The Selecter, Stereo MCs, Goldie, Bez’s Acid House Party, Woody Cook, Eva Lazarus, Stanton Warriors & more with an outer space dress code. Visit mucky-weekender.co.uk
Michelin results are out and Sarah Hayward wins Young Chef Award
The Michelin results are out and Tom Kerridge’s pubs have successfully maintained the prestigious accolades at both The Hand & Flowers (Head Chef Tom De Keyser) and The Coach (Head Chef Sarah Hayward), both in Marlow.
Head Chef Sarah Hayward also won big at last night’s Michelin Guide Awards for Great Britain and Ireland taking home the Young Chef Award at the prestigious event in Silverstone, where Tom Kerridge joined Sarah on stage to congratulate her. Michelin described Sarah as ‘tenacious and determined yet modest’.
Tom says: “I am obviously delighted that Tom and Sarah and the teams have maintained their Michelin stars, they are both incredible chefs who I have worked alongside now for many years. I am particularly thrilled for Sarah winning the Young Chef Award, she is a fantastic chef, level-headed, grounded, focused and truly dedicated to her craft. She has put her own stamp on The Coach, I’m so proud of her, she is such a talent.”
Sarah said: “Wow, I am really blown away to be honest and really humbled to receive the Young Chef Award, what an honour. I have so much respect for Michelin and I know how proud my dad will be, being a chef himself. I’m so grateful to my team and of course Tom Kerridge, who has helped me become the chef I am today and given me the confidence and belief that I can achieve anything.”
Maintaining two Michelin stars at The Hand & Flowers, Head Chef Tom De Keyser says: “I am delighted, myself, the kitchen and front of house team work so hard throughout the year to keep standards as high as they can be and I couldn’t be prouder of the team. There will definitely be a few celebratory drinks!”
Cathie Welch of Cathie’s Gardening School turns her attention to one of the most pressing issues for gardeners this month – the pruning dilemma
With the extremes of temperature and subsequent plant damage I have attended many garden consultancies and answered numerous questions from my students and clients. All the questions and concerns have been exactly the same; do I prune now or leave well alone? This question is one that has stumped all of us experts as these climate extremes have never happened before.
Dead or alive?
Even though plants have suffered terribly some will have died and others will have just become defoliated or gone brown. The important bit is under the bark on the stems (the cambium layer where the cells divide). Using your nail or the blade of secateurs scrape away a little of the bark. It should be bright green. If it’s brown it’s dead. This all depends on the type of plant of course and it’s never that easy!
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Bruce Dessau chats to comedian Angela Barnes ahead of her tour which takes in Oxford’s North Wall Arts Centre on 3rd March, Chipping Norton Theatre on 22nd April, Bracknell’s South Hill Park Arts Centre on 27th April, Winchester’s The Arc on 4th May & Aldershot’s West End Centre on 27th May
You will know Angela Barnes from Live at the Apollo, 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown and as a regular panellist on Mock The Week. She is a fabulous, flame-haired comedian, never short of a snappy quip, positively bursting with stories and jokes.
In her new show, Hot Mess, Barnes reflects on marriage, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and the pandemic. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I spoke to Barnes about all of this, plus her love of bunkers – not the golfing variety – and more.
It was originally about ADHD, but, ironically, I got distracted. The title of the show was conceived before the diagnosis. I’ve always been ditzy and forgetful, someone that people roll their eyes at all the time. So the show started off being about trying to get things right and often failing, but then so much happened it ended up being about something quite different, about friendship and loss.
Your boyfriend Matt proposed when lockdown started…
He tried to propose earlier. We’d gone on holiday to Norfolk. He ordered the ring online and they sent the wrong one. It was like a tiny child’s ring so he didn’t do it. Then my brother announced that he’d got engaged so it was like we can’t do it now, it looks like I’m just doing it because he’s done it. Then we were supposed to be going to Islay in Scotland in March 2020. So Matt thought he’ll do it there. And of course that got cancelled because of Covid. My diary just emptied and I was really miserable, so he just thought ‘I’ll do it now’.
Were you able to have a proper wedding?
We married in September 2021. It was just after the restrictions were lifted on weddings. We had our reception in a field so people felt safe. And it was great because it was the first party anyone had been to for a year and a half so the atmosphere was brilliant. Everyone was ready for a party. That’s my wedding tip – have a wedding at the end of a global pandemic. People are really up for it.
Lots of comedians have ADHD – Aisling Bea, Shaparak Khorsandi, Simon Brodkin, you. It can’t be a coincidence can it?
I think there’s a reason we get drawn into this life. We’re constantly looking for that dopamine hit. What better way than stand in front of a room of strangers? It’s not normal to drive to Cardiff for no money to do ten minutes then drive back. Also, I think we’re quite socially awkward. I’ve never been good in social situations with people I don’t know. I’m more comfortable onstage in front of a crowd in the dark. I’m more surprised by stand ups that don’t have ADHD. Why are they doing it?
Mock The Week has ended after 17 years. How was it for you?
I did 38 episodes, the most for any woman and seventh on the list overall. I did my first one in 2014 and thought ‘what am I doing here?’ but by the end I felt I belonged. I owe a lot to it. If it wasn’t for Mock The Week I wouldn’t be doing a tour of this size. It’s nice to not have to write jokes about the news for a bit though. I looked at my notes from my first episode recently and the top story then was that David Cameron had gone on holiday to Cornwall and couldn’t get phone reception. It was a glorious time by comparison.
Was it a good showcase for female acts?
It took a while to realise that ‘woman’ wasn’t a genre of comedy. I think they were worried that women were doing the same subject matter. But my material is more similar to male observational comics than it is to, say, Sara Pascoe. Once they got their head around that I think it changed the show. And once they started having more than one woman on you could tell the difference in energy. I think it started as comedy as combat, having to get your elbows out and get in and became an ensemble piece.
You started stand-up after training as a nurse and working in social care?
I was in my early 30s, I think you realise that comedy doesn’t really matter that much when you’ve come from doing a job where people’s lives matter. During the pandemic we found out who was essential and comedians weren’t essential. Nurses and doctors were. So we’re sort of a luxury item.
But comedy can be good for people’s mental health?
Sometimes people write to you after shows and say ‘I’ve just been through this terrible thing and I was able to forget about it for an hour’. It does have the power to do that. But I think we can take ourselves too seriously. I think we’re entertainers primarily, we’re the court jesters poking fun.
How do you relax? I heard your hobby is visiting nuclear bunkers
I had my hen do in a nuclear bunker in Dundee. I’m fascinated by them. I visit them when I can. If I had my way, every episode of our We Are History podcast (which Barnes co-hosts with comedy writer John O’Farrell) would be about the Cold War, but we try to cover other periods as well.
At the start of the pandemic I bought a sewing machine, boxing gloves and roller boots and went a bit mad. But I do like sewing and learnt how to crochet.
Your tour stretchers from Glasgow to Penzance – do you like life on the road?
I love it. There’s just something about live comedy. People have bought a ticket to see you and that’s a really nice feeling. I’m always amazed as well that people come. I’m just like, why are they here? I’m glad you have but why?
You were the first person to win five consecutive episodes on Richard Osman’s House of Games. Are you competitive?
I am with certain things. Weirdly not in my career particularly, but I definitely am with board games. My family won’t even play with me now. I don’t like it when people don’t take it seriously.
What would you like audiences to take away from Hot Mess?
The bottom line is, it’s jokes, it’s a funny show. But it’s got a bit of heart as well.
Comedian Zoe Lyons shares her thoughts ahead of her Bald Ambition live comedy tour which visits Aldershot, Banbury, Farnham, Salisbury, Maidenhead & more
Q. How are you?
“Very well thanks. Life is a very pleasant mixture of work and fun so all is well in my world.”
Q. I read your funny quotes about a ‘midlife crisis’…
“Well I had an absolute cracker of a midlife crisis during the pandemic. I turned 50, hit the menopause and bought a sports car, among other things. It was a tricky time but because there was a backdrop of global chaos I managed to hide it quite well. But in this challenging time, there were also a lot of funny moments. And surely the best thing about being a comedian is we can turn personal difficulties into a new show! It’s cathartic to laugh in the face of adversities.”
Q. Who was your comedic inspiration growing up?
“It was always Billy Connolly as a kid. We’d get his videos at Christmas, watch as a family and howl laughing. I remember watching my mum, tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks.”
Q. Did you enjoy school? “I was taught by nuns at my first school in Ireland. I’m afraid I wasn’t a big fan of school, I think largely because I didn’t like reading, especially aloud in class. I found it hard and I was always slightly embarrassed. We moved around quite a bit to and that made things difficult. I went to high school in Glasgow. There I found a love for geography and my teacher Mr Knowles made it so interesting and fun. I can’t look at a U-shaped valley even now without thinking…ahh glacial erosion. Funny what stays with you.”
Q. Loving your bold look… How are you coping with the alopecia?
“The alopecia was another symptom of my midlife blip. It was quite shocking to watch my hair all fall out over the course of the year. Pleased to say it has started to sprout back. I’m currently going through my dodgy growing-out phase… some patches, tufts and some longer bits. I need to get the tour done before it all grows back!”
Q. Who would be your dream dinner party guests?
“Grace Jones, Billy Connolly and David Sedaris… I think it will be a fun night and I know Grace will end up dancing on the table.”
Q. Do you have anything on your rider?
“I need to up my ‘diva’ game. I have such a basic rider; water and a mirror and I’ll be honest I don’t always use the mirror! I try and eat well on tour but sometimes a girl’s just got to have a burger on the road… and fries….and milkshake… and maybe another burger.”
Q. Who is your favourite author?
“George Orwell. When I finally started enjoying reading, Animal Farm changed everything for me.”
Q. What new year resolutions or perhaps cool things or goals do you have planned for this year..?
“I don’t do resolutions. But I do want to keep up my fitness. My goal is to run another sub-two hours half marathon and complete a 100k challenge in 17 hours. I want to carry on enjoying my work. And of course growing a luscious head of hair.”
With this festive period set to be challenging for many children, Heritage & Sons funeral homes, owned by C.P.J Field, the UK’s oldest funeral directors, are hosting collection points for the Bucks Radio Toy Appeal, helping give disadvantaged children a better Bucks Christmas.
You’re all encouraged to donate new toys, games and gifts for all ages, from babies to teenagers. These can be dropped off at a number of Heritage and Sons funeral homes across the region
Craig Revel Horwood, 57, is excited about bringing Strictly Ballroom The Musical back to the stage on a UK tour, which includes Reading’s Hexagon, 16th-21st January & Guildford’s G Live, 20th-30th December
Q. Hello Craig! Can you tell us about this show, which you’ve directed and co-choreographed?
“Audiences are in for a night of laughter and comedy, with an insight into the ballroom world. It’s a glimpse backstage, which is very different to the smiles when dancers are performing. Most people see this happy, smiley world of people dancing together but when they come off stage they maybe have family issues to deal with or issues with each other. Strictly Ballroom lifts the curtain on all that whilst also being really funny and having such a strong central love story, plus there’s lots of glitz and glamour and beautiful costumes. I am absolutely delighted to be directing the amazing Kevin Clifton and the sensational Maisie Smith, together with our super talented cast in Strictly Ballroom The Musical – I know that they’ll all be FAB-U-LOUS! Expect some sexy moves, sizzling costumes and a simply sensational evening!”
Q. You left Australia in 1988 to forge a career in the UK, and I’ve read that the film Strictly Ballroom was a pivotal moment for you?
“I hadn’t really been home since leaving and when I saw the movie it made me feel really homesick. I absolutely loved it and it’s become one of those go-to films that I watch every Christmas. It cheers me up. So when the opportunity came up to direct it I didn’t hesitate. I’m passionate about all kinds of dance and this show is the perfect vehicle for me to explore that.”
Q. The show features songs by Sia, David Foster and Eddie Perfect, I believe?
“You’re going to see huge dance numbers and fantastic duets, with tunes that people know and love, as well as new music written specifically for the show which is equally brilliant. It’s mixing the old and the new.”
Q. How have people’s perceptions of ballroom changed over the years?
“People perhaps didn’t understand the world of ballroom dancing when the film Strictly Ballroom came out. Since the advent of Strictly Come Dancing they get what it’s all about. They realise that it’s full of very strict rules that the dancers all have to adhere to but Scott wants to break those rules, just as Fran wants to break the rules of flamenco. When they come together they also end up falling in love. That’s what makes it such a compelling and uplifting show.”
